When I was in junior high, I received death threats from two girls. It stemmed from petty jealousy issues. After I was named editor of the school newspaper during my senior year, I overheard catty comments and my Jeep got keyed.
Although people mature some in college and in the workforce, I’ve noticed the issues of dislike, contempt and jealousy continuously. After recently discussing it with another friend who has experienced the issue, I wanted to post on it.
“Understand that sometimes no matter what you do, you will be unfairly labeled. As long as you assert yourself fairly and honestly, don’t worry about being called names.”
(Source: Anita Bruzzese’s blog, 45 Things and her recent post about gender communication and the book, Taking the Leap)
I’m an introvert. I love discussing ideas, but I need time to myself as well. Unfortunately, some people have taken my quietness as being as sign as something else. I might be percieved as withdrawn, uncooperative, aloof or unmotivated. Through the grapevine, I’ve heard a lot of the things I’ve been called. It always gets around and eventually the message gets back to me. It’s always something petty and catty.
Here’s my opinion for others who have experienced this:
You don’t have to be liked by everyone, especially those with petty reasons for disliking you. Be true to who you are, work hard and strive for success.
The hard part about this is that public relations is such a relationship-driven field. Many young professionals faced with similar situations wonder what they can do to improve, or at least neutralize, the situation.
What do you do when you’re dealing with a petty/catty person?
- Don’t stress over being liked by this person. In the scheme of things, it’s probably not that big of a deal.
- It is impossible to make everyone happy, so just be civil and respectful.
- Don’t let other people’s opinions dictate your actions. Do what is right for you.
- Be confident in your skills if you know you rock at them. But, don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know.”
- Be honest with who you are and what you want.
December 9, 2009 | 10:59 pm
Omg, I cannot believe those girls keyed your jeep. That is insanity!
You’re so right though. You cannot please EVERYONE ALL THE TIME. This is something that has been very hard for me to learn and remember. But you’re right, don’t strive to be liked, people should like us for WHO WE ARE and if they don’t, well, too bad for them!
Great post
December 10, 2009 | 12:00 am
Oh hey, we’re actually the same person! When it comes to being an introvert, I totally feel you! I’m just beginning to learn that not everyone is going to like you. It’s always a tough pill to swallow but, it gets easier.
Keep your chin up…I can guarantee that you are 10 times more successful that any petty girl (or boy) that feels the need to gossip.
December 10, 2009 | 12:18 am
Here are some words of wisdom:
“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” – William Penn, Some Fruits of Solitude, 1693
So don’t stress about it, they have their own problems to bear with… just “be honest with who you are and what you want!”
… but then again, keying my jeep makes it my problem! lol
December 10, 2009 | 12:42 am
I had my car keyed in high school, too. Girls can be so immature. And unfortunately some people will always be the jealous type, regardless of how much they’ve aged. Like you stated, you can’t make everyone happy. There will be times when a person doesn’t like you for one reason or another. Don’t dwell on it. Your tips are great reminders for anyone facing this type of situation. I can’t imagine that it’s any fun to deal with petty people in a daily work situation — a place that is supposed to be a “professional environment.”
December 10, 2009 | 3:02 am
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December 10, 2009 | 11:55 am
Just take all the energy they’re wasting on talking about you or plotting ways to upset you, and channel it into making yourself a better person (exercise, go to church, read a book — whatever you want to improve). That will give them even more to fret about, while you leave them in the dust.